Do you ever wonder who ‘they’ are? More importantly, do you wonder who they say ‘you’ are? The topic of identity is one that can cover many areas. If someone defines their identity by their occupation or actions, they may go through many struggles when that occupation changes or they are no longer able to perform, or accomplish what they did in the past.

If I were to define what I do in my professional life, others may confuse that with who I am and think that is my identity. Perhaps they would think it strange if I said I am a musician. What picture would come to mind with that type of definition? I am an artist. Would they visualize a paint brush and canvas, drawing pencils and paper, and other art supplies scattered about as I wildly express my creative side? I am published author. Would the question arise, what kind of book did I write? Perhaps they heard I like to hang out at the local cafe and quietly sit in the corner writing on my laptop. I am a teacher and Adjunct Professor. Does that bring up a whole different picture, with new questions about what I teach. I teach a variety of subjects as well as Psychology. Oh, not only do I teach psychology, I am a mental health professional! The questions continue. Am I licensed? A list of examples could go on and on; there are so many things that we all can do. It is important to remember whatever our actions are does not explain the reality of who we are. To be reminded that we are human beings not human doings is important. What we accomplish does not determine our identity.

We all have different aspects of our unique and individual lives that continually paints a picture showing what we look like. As we gather more information the picture continues to develop and becomes more clear. Here is another example. To tell you I am a mother of five daughters, have five grandson’s with another on the way, and have two great grandsons, reveals I am an older woman who is blessed to have a family. I acknowledge that with so many different dynamics in my life they have an influence on how I view my own identity. If I were to ask my family members about my identity I am sure they would have a different perspective of who I am rather than the stranger passing by on the street. This principle applies to you all.

Even with all that information, which only scratches the surface, if someone were to ask, who is Brenda Ballantine, what would the answer be? Better yet, if someone were to ask who you are, what would the answer be? How does someone determine the correct response? How would they, whoever they are, know the answer? Data collection can show a person’s spending habits and insurance companies can show statistics about length of lives. Computers can track what people like to listen to or view on T.V. or the Internet. Given all that information, this only reveals our outward actions, likes and dislikes. So how do we know who we are, and what is our identity? Obviously, this subject is one that deserves much more attention and deep thought.

It has been noted that the topic of identity is a deep subject that may cover many areas in our lives. As written in the previous post, we are initially identified by our parents as male or female and given the name they have chose to call us. As all children begin to develop, characteristics and personalities will emerge. Created as social creatures with a basic need to belong, our identities are influenced, shaped and molded by those around us. The internal and external environment will have an impact on the way we view ourselves, our identity, self-esteem, and confidence. With positive or negative input from others, as well as life’s experiences, there are many factors that have an influence on our perception of our identity.

I was asked,”What do I mean by the ‘true’ sense of identity “? I recognize this answer will require a separate post to allow for deeper discussion. For now, I will say that each individual is a very unique, distinct, and wonderfully made human being. Each given an authentic identity tied to their very existence that they alone can experience.

Many have learned by experience that it was painful to the individual’s heart if they allowed their true identity to be expressed. Rejection, judgment, anger, jealousy, even violence or threat of losing a job have been reactions experienced when attempting to be themselves. They began to understand that using their authentic voice could be very costly. This could be one of the reasons why people refer that someone is wearing a mask. If they allow their desires to be made known that stem from their inner being and true identity, and then they experience pain, they will learn not to express themselves in a way that would create a negative reaction. They may unconsciously or consciously retreat to a survival mode, doing or saying whatever it takes to make a living, or get along with others without the pain. Another example that I agree with from a comment made from the previous post that stated, “We can be surrounded with potentially harmful societal identities, innate, and socially implanted ideas”. These also have an impact on how we view ourselves and our identity.

Therefore, getting to the reality of who we are as individuals, finding out what is the meaning of true identity requires time. As we enter a soul searching journey with many twists and turns along the way, the question will be, “Are we ready and willing to go?”

While writing my first post I decided to begin talking about our identity. Have you ever thought about the reality we all are identified as soon as we are born. It is determined if we are male or female, what is our weight, height, length, race, and color. At our arrival the time came to officially announce our legal name. Last chance to decide what we shall call the baby.

When I arrived my parents decided my name would be Brenda Darlene. Of course my last name changed when I was married. For those who are adopted their name may also be changed. There are others who change their name later in life for many reasons. Nevertheless, it is our full name that sets us apart from all others.

We are all unique and have individual personalities, all of which help define who we are. Yet, the identity of each and every one of us that I am referring to is not addressing our physical appearance, age, or race.

I have found in my profession there are many who are fully aware of their name and age yet lost sight of their true sense of identity. When conducting  Heart~Mind~ Soul Symposiums I begin the first night introducing the participants to themselves.

We have a tradition when we first meet someone to introduce our self by stating our name. We share a moment of transition, from meeting a total stranger that perhaps may eventually become a life long friend. Yet how many of us who know our name struggle with the reality of knowing or accepting our true identity? I will continue to write about this fascinating subject with the hope we all get new insights about our own identity.