No turning back


FALL 2007 034I remember a time in my life many years ago, I determined I was going to have my third child at home. When the time came and I was in labor, I had to purpose in my heart to make the final commitment. I knew there was no turning back if I didn’t leave soon. Was I really going to home birth my child? With no midwife, no doctor and with the nearest hospital 20 miles away? Was I prepared emotionally and spiritually for what was ahead? Living in the country has its advantages; yet in an emergency situation it may not be good to be so far away from help.

At that moment in time I drew upon a confidence I had from within, prayed and consciously focused on the task at hand. My job was to give everything I had to bring forth a new life into this world. Labor pains is a very sterilized description and concept to attempt to describe what happens each time a baby is born. The word labor, when describing childbirth is the most intense form of work known in humanity. Every woman who has been blessed to become a mother knows the pain and endurance it takes to give everything and more to bring forth a new child.

There are many who have not experienced childbirth, (obviously males and females). Yet they came to a place in time where they knew something was about to change. They had to embrace the reality they needed to give birth to new ideas, step outside the box, or form new relationships, knowing all the time that there would be no turning back. A powerful life changing experience was about to take place.

Perhaps they have suffered a loss, a death of a dream, relationship, or a career. Fear of the unknown, self-doubt, procrastination, or many other forms of resistance can cause us to withdraw, run away, or isolate and not move forward. Many times we want to turn around and go back to that which is familiar.

Some might wonder why I would write about this concept? One reason may be that I am watching that same baby, the first daughter to be home birthed, now preparing to give birth to her own son in a few weeks. I watched as she announced her pregnancy, suffered the loss of one child and then become pregnant once again. She slowly, patiently moved forward, while working, planning her steps, fully invested and committed to go full term.

To be willing to be pregnant and give birth to a child, not knowing if it will bring great joy or tremendous heart ache is a fearful and courageous act. Many choose not to have children for that very reason and more. I understand my five daughters are making their own choices concerning this area. Nevertheless, I   believe we all have many things within us that desire to be birthed, no matter the gender.


Grandchild growing in Renee second photo 2-18-15Whatever they are, they all  take time to mature. If we are patient and diligent, the day will come when it is time to be released, birthed for all to see. While giving nurturing it with the ability to grow, it will flourish and bloom to its fullest potential. As a Heart Mender, I encourage all to embrace with confidence that which is truly within. As we allow our gifts and talents to come forth and freely flow, we will see amazing things manifest. To be able to experience some things in life we must remember there will be times when we decide there is  “No turning back!” When we do so we can celebrate new life springing forth.

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