Looking back in time

215Although I was born in a city in California, my father did not think the Bay Area was a good place to raise six daughters. We were all surprised when he came home one day and put a for sale sign in the yard. He was a contractor and carpenter by trade. He made a great living due to the fact the city was continually growing up all around us. Dad had the foresight and willingness to make sacrifices to provide and protect his family. He found a small 20 acre dairy/ranch located hundreds of miles north of the city that would become our new home.

As a child I never gave thought about how hard it would be to literally pack up your whole family, (no boys included to help with the loading), and move everything, piano included, to the unknown world called Glenn County. Our new ranch house only had two bedrooms and two bathrooms. Of course dad had his own, being the only male in the house.

As you can guess, I being the fifth of six girls got the short end of the stick many times. One of which had to do with having time in the bathroom to get ready for school. That may seem unusual to mention here, yet it was a very important place in our house. The pecking order was in full force, not just out in the chicken coop. After all, where do young girls get to style their hair, put on their make-up, view them self in the mirror; to assure they were presentable before leaving the house, no matter the occasion?

My youngest sister was treated differently because she was the youngest. I can imagine what she went through, in some ways being treated special because she was the last child, but she also had to deal with being left out, hearing things like, no she can’t go; she is too young, she has to stay home!

Isn’t it amazing how well we can see as we get older? I wonder what she went through dealing with her five older sisters always telling her what to do or worse yet, what she couldn’t do. Top it off, having a mother that may be over protective in one way, and not protective in another. This of course is all speculation on my part. I hear hind sight is 20/20.

Looking back on things from an adult’s point of view helps me to see things in a different light.One of which is the fact that there are some parents who are willing to sacrifice their own desires to help their children grow up to be healthy adults. The reality that there are also parents who are not willing to take responsibility to raise their children properly, who also abuse them in many areas is hard to comprehend.

As a former mental health professional, I believe this was one of the most painful areas to work with. How can one not love their own off spring? Some view their child as a threat, jealous of their budding gifts, talents and strengths. Others see their children as a hindrance, as another thing in their way as they desire to have fun or do drugs. There are many reasons why a mother or father will reject a child.

When going through counseling with a therapist, priest or pastor, counselor, or with me as a Heart Mender Specialist, each professional will treat the situation differently. I have found many times to be very successful in helping others see faulty thought patterns and relieve suffering. The choice to see someone for help, especially as a Broken Heart Mender Specialist, may be scary at first. As one who is Doctoral trained as a clinical psychologist, I have learned many reasons why we may disconnect and act accordingly. It takes time to build a trusting relationship. It is difficult to understand that the truth is ‘now’ is the perfect and only time we can actually take time to address concerns we have.

As a Heart Mender Specialist I hear stories on a daily basis of abuse and neglect. My job is to help relieve suffering, as well as to help re-frame thoughts to adjust to the realities we all may suffer one way or the other. As I stated earlier, daddy was willing to make sacrifices to move away from that which he had known for our benefit. There are times when we may also need to make sacrifices, walk away from the familiar to be able to be free from the past.Contact me for a free consultation if you have a desire to address past or present issues and experience the freedom to enjoy life to its fullest.

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