Apr 24

Now It’s Time


142“Taking time to relax and sketch outdoors is awesome”

How many times have we heard someone say it is time to leave,  go, stop, or to wait? How many times have we asked the simple question,”What time is it”? Is it time to get back to work, study, or time to eat?

There are some who say time is an illusion so it doesn’t matter what time it is. There are others who seem to live in or struggle with a type of strange time warp. It is funny how so many are amazed at how time seems to fly asking, :”Where did the time go”?

Many talk about living in the ‘Now’. What time is that? We also may be told we should practice living in the present. Again, the present is right now, whatever time that is. We have created a system that is set up with a standard to measure time. We accepted these standards and acknowledge time by seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years.

It is fascinating to realize that different locations on earth have different time zones, each influencing the time of day. Keeping that in mind, when we begin to stress about something being late, or worry there’s not enough time to finish our project, or complete our goals, perhaps we could re-frame our thinking. It is important to be responsible and take care of business in a timely manner. Yet there will always be more to do, more to say, more to see and more to learn.

Balancing work and play, let’s prioritize our time and purposely tell others how important they are to us. For in the big scheme of things, at the end of the day, love and relationships that we have been built over time are most valuable.

Nov 13

Time passed


Everything Changes In Time

What happened in the past is exactly there, in the past. Why would we try to go back and dig it up, change it, (which we all know is impossible) or continue to regret it? Time stands still for no man, nor does it go backward. It is a gift that we have to enjoy if we choose to do so.

“You are what you are and where you are because of what has gone on into your mind. You can change what you are and where you are by changing what goes into your mind.”                                  Zig Ziglar

Each new morning we have an opportunity to make new choices in regard how we will view the day. Knowing not all circumstances are pleasant, we are still in control of how we look at things and what we will ultimately do. It is a great exercise to practice being in the present, not rushing forward in our minds thinking about what we may need to do later, or looking back wishing we would have, or could have done something different.

It is a good day to celebrate being who you are!

Sep 26

Have you got the time?


Do you ever ask yourself, “Where did the time go”? For those who have a job, they may be watching the clock and counting the minutes until they go home. Others may be trying to fill the hours and wonder what they can do. Whatever the case may be, there are a variety of circumstances that can influence how we spend our day.

The reality is that no matter what we do, time stops for no one. One day I thought about the fact “This day will never return again.” From that point on I view the way I spend my time in a completely different light.
There is so much to accomplish in life no matter who you are. Yet it may feel like we never have enough time to get it all done. It is true, we won’t get it all done; in fact that is part of the good news. How can I say that? Simply put, we are not created to get it “All” done, only God can do that. Yet we are given choices everyday concerning how we spend our time.

Perhaps we do not have the luxury to come and go as we please; especially if we are working for someone else. Even if that is the case, we can still choose how we think as we spend our time making a living. When challenges arise and things do not go as planned we may be tempted to get anxious, frustrated or angry. After all, we have a time frame we need to accomplish this or that. Yet circumstances beyond our control can and will affect all of us in one way or another. As things continually change, as well as our expectations and desires, we may experience a variety of emotions.

To compensate, we might think we have to hurry up and take care of business. Trying to speed up, to “save time”, can cost more in the end. Some try to multi-task while others feel like they should be triple-tasking! Is that really possible? Some would say yes, I do it all the time, while others say there is no way; it is totally unrealistic to even think about doing more than one thing at a time.

Are we kidding ourselves? What is the real purpose behind the desire, demands or expectations of multi-tasking? Is it to try to accomplish more in a certain amount of time, or to somehow magically save time? How do we save anything? In the area of finances, we could decide to open a savings account, decided how much we want to start with and then make the appropriate deposit. We then have the power to choose if we keep the money in the bank or make withdraws. If we start spending the money we had in the account the time comes when we have to make another deposit. Understanding these concepts is required for successful banking; there is always a process of addition and subtraction, while using basic principles of increase and decrease.

Taking the examples of saving and spending from the financial realm, now I will ask this simple question. “How are you spending your time? Once spent, we cannot go somewhere and gather more time to make another deposit. Truly we are spending each minute of our life as we take each breath and enjoy having another heartbeat. These are gifts from God that we call life. Remembering it is impossible to save time let’s spend it wisely. For time is like a river, it continually flows towards its final destination.

We can celebrate the fact we have been given this time and spend it accordingly. When you find yourself asking, “Where did the time go”, take a moment to stop and consider how you spent your day. Knowing this day never returns, I determined to spend it on purpose and with a purpose. It is my hope that by taking time to write this, you too will see the concept of “time” in a new light.

Aug 21

Busy and tired?

017This is just a short and sweet note to acknowledge that we are still on the planet.  While we are here we can attempt to communicate with others about the issues that are on our heart, or we can choose to be quite and ponder things on our minds.

These days, what things occupy our minds the most? Finances, Security, Acquisitions, Ego, are some examples. What is missing in the midst of all this; communication and building trusting relationships with others due to busyness while chasing the wind?

What ever choices we make, we can grow to appreciate that which is around us and celebrate this adventure we call life.

“There are only the pursued, the pursuing, the busy, and the tired.”

“The Great Gatsby                                                                                                      F. Scott Fitzgerald

Which are you? Care to discuss this question? For a free consultation, contact me at xtremecounselor@gmail.com



Aug 07

Not now

cactus plant rising to the sky 2012 142What does it mean to say not now? Does it infer that perhaps in a minute, a later date, sometime soon, or next time? I think about the meaning of words and find it interesting how many times people will say things without actually saying anything. For example; I can write the words, “Maybe I will see you next time!” What did I mean by that? Maybe? Perhaps, possibly,  perchance I will see you next time? When viewing my calendar I do not see the word next time, some time, or even someday. Therefore, our confidence level in seeing that individual in the near future may not be very high.

When we are communicating with others, what message do we convey? Are we being coy when answering questions regarding our commitment or intentions? Do we practice being vague by not clearly defining our position which may create distrust and frustration? When one repeatedly acts in this manner others can find their irritating evasiveness very frustrating and distance themselves.

The next time we hear ‘Not Now’, stop and listen what is really being said. Observe what is happening around the one who is speaking. Are those particular words (not now) being spoken just to put off something or someone due to procrastination? Are they being spoken out of  wisdom, stopping to count the cost first before making any kind of commitment? In the picture above, are the brushes set aside because someone said they wanted to paint and another said, not now? Perhaps the artist stopped to get prepared to entertain unexpected company; when asked if they were interrupting she said, “Not now!”

There are a lot of dynamics involved any time we attempt to communicate with others. When we have to ask someone for assistance and their response is, “Not now”, what emotions arise?  Rejection, frustration, anxiety, fear, or anger, are a few emotions stirred within our heart when we hear those ‘two little words’. What is our own response?

For those desiring to see how others respond when they are told two simple little words, “Not now”, observe and note their behaviors on paper. In addition, as one reading this message, when asked to write a response in the comment section, would the thought ‘not now’ come to mind in regard to the invitation? This is just one more idea to think about, but not now!


Jul 27

Take time to be quiet

Gods beauty at the coast

Observing the beauty of God’s creation while being still.

As a Professor I am required to spend a certain number of hours lecturing and instructing students for a variety of psychology courses. As a guest teacher in elementary or high schools, I deal with whatever subject matter needed for that particular classroom. Even when working as a mental health professional, I need to instruct clients as well as ask questions. Once I do so, I can find key answers to help diagnose the client’s challenges and needs.

In whatever realm I working in, and when off duty, I have found this statement to be true. “It is important to take time to be quiet”. The fact is we can not listen well when we are talking. I realize it is difficult at times to be still and hear what is being taught. Yet we know, as busy as we are, and as noisy as the world is, the importance of taking time to be quiet is critical for peace of mind. Is that reality being forgotten? The choice is up to us. What do we believe, do we need permission to take time to be quiet?

Shall we join the noisy crowd, contributing by making even more sounds, or shall we take time to be quiet and hear the sounds of natures gentle breeze, and birds singing contently in the trees? Can we hear the whisper of a still small voice calling us to surrender to the peaceful walk found only in the secret place when we are quiet? Is it time to listen? Can we, shall we, take time to be quiet? The choice is ours.